A Secret

Did you ever have a secret that you knew you couldn't tell? I learned something today that will probably all be brought forth soon, but the problem is that I know both sides of the story.  While everyone involved on the one hand may know about the issue, they don't know that I secretly know about the issue on the other hand...you know two sides to every story...

Today I got some news from a friend that was so good I cried for her.  I was so happy for her! Her trials, her life, were about to produce something good.  Although procede with caution always springs to mind in situations like this,  it was an answer to prayer.

As the details unfolded, however, it seemed that there might be two prayers answered with the coming of the news.  The twist is that all parties involved might not be in favor of the same end. I am pulling for my friend. She deserves much happiness. Her trials have been so great. She is turning to the Lord in her time of need and finding strength in Him.  The rift in my own heart is that the other people involved are my family. I look at the life-long implications this good news will have on my family, the hurt it will cause, probably has caused already...

For things to work out in favor for my friend would be a blessing on all ends. The sadness is that the sins of one will affect so many of my family members... I can only imagine my grandmother, my dad, my uncle.  We are a proud family steeped in tradition. Our history is very important to us, especially my dad.  I truly believe that a decision in favor of my friend is the best thing, but to know that my family would be against the decision is heart-breaking.

It is what it is. The person in my family created this situation. The others of my family do not have the right to make the decision for her.  My only prayer is that the right decision is made, that things work out in the end for God's glory. I believe the timing is right, and God is in it.  My prayer is for my relative to have the strength and the fortitude to do what is right.  My sadness comes in knowing that it has gotten this bad for her...that she seems lost and floundering. My new prayer is for her to come home to the Love of Christ!

What a tremendous road for me to travel this Lent. What a burden I share. My promise is that I would not reveal my information to my family. Posting here is safe. They do not read this. The ones who do are not involved in the situation at all. I dare not burden them with the weight at this time, as they are facing trials of their own that involve members of my extended "other" side of the family.  I have to share the limelight with others who need to be consoled. I had my turn last weekend.

My promise is that I will remain on the sideline and prayerfully wait in the joyful hope of the good things to come. My fear is that something will go wrong. My fear is the weak will give into fear. My fear is that it will tear me apart from my family...or my friend.

My strength is my Jesus, who will hold my hand and walk with me this week. He will strengthen and support my friend, and hopefully bring courage to my relative.