The start of a different New Year

Life has been a whirl-wind since my last post.  Daddy past away, not after two months, but after two very brief weeks. He had done his very best to prepare us, but we were still not ready.  I was with him in his final hours...or I was with my step-mom is more accurate. He did not want us to see him take his final breath, and he passed away while I was getting the girls off to school on the bus.

I said I didn't want to be without him at Christmas, and there was never more truth, but I sure didn't want him to suffer until Christmas, or to lose him at Christmas.  By the time Christmas rolled around, we were able to accept the fact that he was gone, but it didn't make the absence easier.

JC stepped in and read to the girls Twas the Night Before Christmas, and it will probably be the last time it is read to them.  We celebrated Christmas Eve in the usual fashion, but my one regret is that I didn't stay long enough. JJ's family was doing their thing in the evening, and we still had to exchange gifts with the kids before they headed to their mom's.  Truth told, I was just ready to go home that night.  And I've been like that a lot lately.

There are many songs now that remind me of Daddy.  Much brings him to mind, especially his bear hugs.  I think of him tonight as Auburn gets ready to play in the Sugar Bowl. His walking stick in the corner, his Stetson on my shelf in my closet, his ring that I wear frequently are reminders, but they don't replace those hugs.

July 2016

Someone once told me that a butterfly symbolizes a person's spirit.  The day Daddy passed away, a yellow butterfly flew in front of his back porch.  It was before they had even taken him away.  It came from the direction of the room where he lay.  It was a yellow butterfly.  On Christmas Eve--DECEMBER--that same yellow butterfly flew that same path.  I was there to see it and so was Meghan, and believe me, she took notice, as she told me when I asked.  I hold this in my heart and ponder on it.

I wasn't very close to my Daddy growing up, but his absence takes a toll on me now that I am older.