Lessons to be Learned

When you tell a child, student, teen, adult...anyone...that a certain book is "required" reading, it becomes a chore. At sixteen and seventeen, I had so much more on my mind than The Lord of the Flies or Wuthering Heights. I cared little for the plight of the Oklahoma families of the Dust Bowl Migration in the 1930s.  But let me tell you something. After reading many different kinds of novels I have found that these classics teach us a lesson, if we would just read them.

As an adult I have read Pride and Prejudice over and again. A great Jane Austen fan, I read many of her works just for fun. While my co-workers and friends are carrying around the top-selling novels and know the names of all the up and coming authors, I am reading Northanger Abbey, Persuasion, and Emma. 



Yes, it is a movie, too!

 At this time I am reading Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. There is one scene in which Meg comes home from a party where she has allowed Sallie Moffat to dress her up. The girls painted her with rouge and lipstick. They gave her champagne to drink. Her shoulders were bare from the way her dress was tailored. All of this seems innocent enough to us, right? Meg drank and flirted and laughed and giggled. Nothing seemed really wrong to me... but in the 21st century, this would not be considered really wrong, simply a girl having a good time. The Laurence boy, a very wealthy young man whom the Moffats had invited to see how Meg would react to his presence ( and Meg's neighbor and good friend), was infuriated by Meg's performance. She was normally much more simple, humble, quiet natured...mature. 

How remonstrated I was when I read Marmee's speech to Meg after she came home and told her tale of embarassment!  Meg had just said that it was nice to be praised and admired...what girl doesn't like a little attention from the opposite sex, right?

Marmee: "That is perfectly natural, and quite harmless, if the liking does not become a passion, and lead one to do foolish or unmaidenly things.  Learn to know and value the praise which is worth having and to excite the admiration of excellent people by being modest as well as pretty."

As an adult woman, I listen to the compliments I get from the opposite sex. Let me tell you something. If you as a man can't compliment me on anything else besides my beautiful hair or my nice manner of dress or my pretty face or the shape of my body or any of its parts, then you can't truly pay me a compliment. You haven't taken the time to know ME.

Some men don't care to take the time to know the woman inside and what makes her hurt or happy or angry. Girls, those men aren't worth the time it takes to put on eyeshadow.  If a man is only complimenting you on your appearance and can't think of anything else to talk about, MOVE ON!!!!

I tell my kids all the time that if you can't be friends with a boy, if he has nothing to talk about, if doesn't care what you talk about, you don't need to waste a lot of time on him.  I envy the relationships where the husbands and wives talk openly to each other. They know each other's friends, they do things together, they talk at work, they go out, they share EVERYTHING. That is a healthy relationship. I am not really envious...I take that back. I am happy for them. I want that for me. I hope to have it one day.

Marmee, ever wise, stated on the next page:  "I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good; to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send. To be loved  and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman (Put your bras back on ladies. A woman's vocation does not have to be on the corporate ladder.); and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience...It is right to hope and wait for it and wise to prepare for it; so that when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy."

Marmee is right. I wish I had heard this when I was thirteen or fifteen.  I don't think I would have listened, but I was strong-willed on some things, naive on others.  I just hope I can convey this message to my children. I hope they listen.

I always wanted a boy. What a responsibility to raise a boy to treat a woman right and to do right for his family, country, God, school, everything.  I am learning what a responsibility I have with daughters too.

I witnessed a mom today truly embarrass her son. He had done wrong in school, but she dessimated him in front of everyone.

Dear Lord, help us all as parents to lead our children in the way that is pleasing to you. Afterall, we are allowed to raise children to be Christians so that we can one day sit in your presence and know true peace and happiness. You created us to share our love with you...love we get from you to begin with. You commanded us through your son, Jesus, to love you and love each other. This is how all of our relationships should work in heaven and on earth. May we love each other with the kind of love that is pleasing to you. Fill our hearts with your spirit that we may be truly wise and ever rejoice in you. Forgive me for the things that I have done that are not pleasing to you. I pray for the peace and happiness you have to offer. I pray to set all things right before it is too late. Protect us, Father, as we go about our day. Keep us free from harm and save us from evil. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.