Prayers Answered

I'm not exactly sure what the prayer was. I'm not sure the answer makes me happy, but I refer to the blog from earlier. I have been in a work position that has allowed me to do things for my family this week that I have needed to do. I have applied for a position that would have taken all that away.

I applied for the position for the money. I applied for the prestige. I applied hoping that I would finally get my chance to prove myself. I had done a great job for my company a few years ago, and when a position came open, I was overlooked. I was devastated.  I swore to never put myself through the agony again, despite encouragement and promises of better things to come.

The better things to come came in the form of a job promotion to our new office. A manager position closer to home and for more pay.

I found out today that the position would not be mine. What I was told was that I was doing a great job where I was. If I stayed where I was then there would be a position in the near future for me at higher pay. Not a manager position, but higher pay.  What I heard was that I was just not good enough. Somewhere along the line I lost the element of trust with my employer, and where I once was trusted, now I am not.

I do not begrudge my co-worker that won-out over me. I have often thought she would be the better employee. She is very smart and a fast thinker. She would not hesitate to put those under her in their place, and those under her will not try to take advantage of her, as they probably would me.

At some point in the last week I really began to realize that I would not get the position. I began to make peace with it. My new co-worker, if they do actually hire him into the office grew up Catholic. He understands a lot about how I believe. It will be nice to have that sounding board. One of my other co-workers grew up Catholic, and she and I talk openly about the Faith.  I have a great rapport with all three of them.

I no longer believe in the pie-crust promises that I am handed about managerial positions. I will not apply for the next one that comes available. I wanted to be able to bring more to the table for my family, but now I can bring more to their hearts. (Refer to recent post)

I look forward to a peaceful Christmas time and the start of a brand new year.

Glory be to the Father, and the Son and the Holy Spirit; as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. World without end. Amen