Epic Catholic mom-fail #27: Not taking your kid to mass.
It is a promise that we make to God at their baptism that we will raise them according to the premise of the Catholic faith. It is not a hard thing to do when you and your spouse are both practicing Catholics. When you are the only Catholic in the whole family it is a bit more challenging. I imagine that my kids think they are weirdos because not even their grandparents are Catholic, and their mom is not even as Catholic as she used to be.
It was ten years, no, 13 years after my first marriage ended that it was finally annulled--mostly due to the extensive length of paperwork and how long it took me to do my part. I probably wiated on the diocese a year and a half. I can only received the Eucharist on Divine Mercy Sunday--and I am so thankful for even that! My first marriage is finally annulled, but my current husband was married and his spouse still living so, unless they get an annulment, I won't get to receive the Eucharist. I'm more concerned that he will ever darken the doors of a church again.
So as a mom my struggle is two-fold: I have to make my kids see why taking the Eucharist and learning about their faith is important, and I have to do it while I cannot lead by example. Secondly, I have to make church part of a routine in a household that is run by a non-Christian.
Let's do give clarity to the "non-Christian" term. JJ does believe in God. To be a Christian, however, you must be baptized. He is not. He believes that Jesus died for our sins, yet he does not accept Him as his personal Lord and Savior. Growing up a "born again Christian" in a Baptist family, I struggled with what all that actually meant, until I lived it. To accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior means to keep His commandments, follow His example and do as he asked us to do. I could write a whole dissertation on what that means, but as I am getting off topic, let's just leave it here for a while.
JJ enjoys his visits to his local Baptist Church where his family goes. He enjoys the singing and greeting church members. He respects the preacher and enjoys the preaching. At times I feel that the Holy Spirit might even be speaking to him.
What JJ wrestles with is that call of the Holy Spirit. I think he wants to answer that call but the Baptist church teaches that once you are baptised you have become a member of a church and its functioning body. You have to start coming every Sunday, sing in the choir, attend business meetings, become a deacon, go to Sunday School...and while ultimately that is the way of it, you don't have to do all that at once, although starting with attending church every week is helpful to your growth as a Christian.
So what we have in the end is a husband who respects the faith enough to stand by and let me live it, so long as it doesn't impose on his itinerary and kids who would rather do the fun stuff rather than church because "church is boring". I am called by vocation as the wife and mother to lead by example and sometimes my human side shows, and I fail.
Jesus forgive me. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, pray for us.
What I need are more quiet moments like this. More rosaries. More time to read the Bible. More time to pray. In order for me to have these moments I have to sacrifice other things that take up my time.
Lord, grant me the wisdom and discernment to make the right choices.
I need less moments on facebook and more times with Christian moms who struggle.
Lord, help me find a friend I can trust.
I need to be more mindful of the needs of others and more prayerful too.
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Since the writing of this blog, I have had ample opportunity for prayer. Situations in my universe have had me calling on the Holy Spirit almost daily. I have asked Saint Michael to intercede for my family. Friends have reached out to me that have never reached out to me before. I am talking even as I add this text to a girlfriend who is dealing with the recent lost of a most beloved cousin. In some strange way, I feel that the Lord is answering my prayers. ~ September 15
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