Due to unforeseen circumstances with my cell phone, I was not able to blog as frequently during Advent as I would have liked. Now that those circumstances have been overcome, I am back to blogging, and I left my journal--you know, the old paper books that we used to write in before computers--at home. Watching old episodes of Doogie Howser, MD has reminded me that I need to blog again, but I am here at the library with no notes. I will be adding them in retrospect.
People ask me, "How was your Christmas?" For the first year in my life, I can respond, "White." A white Christmas was a magical time. Not romantic in the sense that you dream about, but the kids played outside in the snow and came in with smiling cherry red faces. My husband giggled for two days. There was an overall sense of contentment in the whole family, despite the fact that we didn't get to see my mom, despite the fact that my stocking, while hung by the chimney with care, was empty on Christmas morning. I received two gifts from my husband, one was in the form of a gift card, and he just handed it to me. The other was a desk lamp, that I had asked for. I was grateful for it. Anyone who knows me knows that one of the biggest joys for me is opening gifts...even if they are little trinkets of nothing, it is fun "opening" the packages. I never grew out of that. Now that I don't get to experience that for myself, I make sure that my children enjoy that pleasure. So when they whine about the DS that they didn't get, I can remind them of the tons of packages that they did receive. They are pacified for at least ten minutes.
I've decided that next year we may try to do things a little differently. Some wonderful friends helped us to have a "big" Christmas this year. What is a "big" Christmas if you don't appreciate what you have. So many people that I know went without this year. I feel guilty for us having it so big, while they had so little. We may try to help out others next year instead of doing it up at our house. We try tell our children to remember "the Reason for the Season", but if we don't show them what that actually means by sacrificing for others and helping others, then what are we teaching them? One of my family members actually tried to bully me into buying something for my daughter that I could not afford. It was that important to her. When my daugther didn't receive this gift, she complained all day. I finally asked her if all Christmas meant to her was the gifts that she received, then I knew I had a problem.
What is the way to show our children the real reason for the season? We want them to have everything; we want them to be happy. How can we show them that true happiness won't come from that portable gaming system? My prayer for this year, my resolution, if you will, is that I can instill some sense of value in my children.
I am already having a hard time with it. Meghan wants a Buzz Lightyear doll. She doesn't really ask for anything else or need anything else. I tell her that I am going to take her shopping to get it, and Erin complains that Meghan gets more toys than she does. Erin used the same money she had to buy the rocks, etc that go with her fish tank--a tank she asked for. Erin's problem is that she wants EVERYTHING SHE SEES. Meghan doesn't want much or ask for much. It is easy to put Meghan's Christmas money in savings because she desires so little. Erin wants so much that you HAVE to use her Christmas money on the things she wants because you can't possibly buy it all!
What did I do with my Christmas money? I bought that gift for myself that Kevin didn't get for me...an inexpensive gift, but exactly what I wanted. I also had enough left to buy some clothes off the clearance rack and I still have enough left for a pair of shoes.
Last year, my New Year's non-resolution was to make an overall change for the better in my life. I think I have accomplished that goal in most areas. I haved pooled many resources to get there. The one aspect that I have not accomplished is the physical. My friends at work are doing it with the help of some expensive medical treatments that I can not afford. I hope this year I can get a grip on the things that hold me back. I joke that I will take the Special K challenge! But maybe I just might.
Have a Happy New Year! See you in 11!!
1 comment:
i think you are an awesome momma and your kids are great too....they are not doing anything that other children don't do...they want everything...don't beat yourself up...i think you are GREAT
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