Tammy took me out into the hallway and put her arm around me and told me that she was sorry to hear about my dad, that she knew personally what I was going through and that she was praying for me. I've probably even mentioned over the course of the time that I know her that neither my father nor my husband know the Lord. She told me that night that she was praying for that too. What Tammy didn't know was that I was seriously contemplating not teaching this year. I have had so much going on with so many responsibilities at home and then my dad and work and school. I just didn't know how I was going to make it.
But that one simple act of kindness brought me back to center. Tammy may never know how much she meant to me in that one moment. I decided that maybe I needed to teach at least this one last year, and in the days since that encounter, Tammy has been the Jesus to me that I needed. I have grown spiritually by leaps and bounds in this short time. I have much more growing to do. He is forever working on me.
In the days since, I have received further messages of hope and peace in the images and encounters with others. Facebook photos a family shares of their traditions at home, especially the ones where they bury their miscarried angel; tweets from the Pope that sometimes say the thing I need to hear most that day; even daily introductions to the lives of Saints...and one whose life mirrors my own in her struggles with her family.
I use my alone time in the evenings now when my husband is gaming not to stew on what he is not doing for our family or how much I miss him, but to rest. If I have the energy, I offer the Rosary, and if I don't I offer prayers as I fall asleep.
I didn't quit teaching and our first official class starts today. I am the Lector at church today as well. Next week the church will recognize us teachers.
And the blessings are coming when I need them.
Saint Monica pray for me.
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